So last weekend was my 3rd weekend in Japan, and it continued the statistically insignificant and not at all unexpected increase in awesomeness that occurred between the "omg-fuck-japan-i-want-to-go-home" first weekend in Japan, and the "yahhhhhh-SUMO" second weekend. This weekend will henceforth be known as "Nomihodai Karaoke".
This weekend started pretty well. I slept in, spent a few hours here at Tully's skyping my Boston-buds, and got to see my cat on skype. He looked pretty happy, when Syed wasn't yodelling him. Then I headed over to Atsugi city where my NTT-homies live. They've got "apartments" that are pretty much my dorm room plus a bathroom designed for a contortionist and a single-burner + sink kitchen area. In other words, its about a billion times better than my dorm. Fuck you guys.
So I cooked food for everyone. My Pasta Carbonara conjuring abilities are now known in the land of the rising sun. Even without pancetta or even real bacon I managed to impress. Sure, I didn't have a strainer and my sous-chef and I managed to both spill some pasta in the sink (who cares, its going back into boiling water. what could happen?), but I'd say it was pretty successful. After some awesome Japonois pastries provided by Thom, the good stuff happened.
I'm sure you've all heard of Karaoke. I'm sure you've all done it, and theres really not a whole lot to say about it. We sang some of the most embarrassing songs in existence (including favourite bands like Aqua, N'Sync, and more). I learned a few things about myself: One; that my peculiar vocal range allows me to sing the uber-low man's part in "Doctor Jones" as well as the ridiculously high girls part. But nothing in between. I've got to close that falsetto gap. Two; I know way too many emo songs by heart. I blame you Simon. Not that you're reading this. Everyone go check out simonallthetime.blogspot.com, it contains all of Simon's happy thoughts.
Anyway: Nomihodai. This is the Japanese word for "All you can drink". You pay 30 bucks each for the night (10pm to 5am) which pays for your private Karaoke room plus everything you can drink. This karaoke room has a phone in it, you pick up the phone, say the drink you want with a Japanese accent ("buraku rushiano", "sutaraburi dacuri"), the number you want (you'd better know the chinese number system for "vessels which contain liquids", note its chinese counting system + pai/bai/hai depending on the number) and "o kudasai". And BAM 2 seconds later the drink is in your hands, transported by a mysterious ninja-like man. There were 6 of us. We drank a LOT. Well technically there were closer to 5 of us. One unfortunate Japan-rookie much like myself drank himself sick in less than an hour. He spent the next 5 in the bathroom. Someone doesn't have very good nomihodai skills.
The rest of us were pooched by about 4am, we dragged Craig from his happy home in the karaoke bathroom and headed home. Nota bene guys, a nice thing about sleeping on the floor every night. Sleeping on someone elses floor is just as comfortable. Wait, is this a nice thing? I'm not sure, it could go both ways. Well we slept in, and made a genuine western breakfast in the morning. Pancakes and french toast, with real Canadian maple syrup.
I take it all back.
So recall what I said about the Tokyo-Edo Museum that I went and saw in Tokyo last weekend? That it’s a complete waste of time, time better spent going up (and down!) escalators or watching grown nearly-naked men slap themselves on the ass in front of a live audience. Well guys, in my haste, I forgot an interesting anecdote from my lengthy tour of the famous museum.
In a small section near the end of the main exhibit, the museum has memorabilia and information about Tokyo during and slightly after the turmoil of the second world war. Included in its collection is the Japanese copy of the official declaration of surrender, signed by representatives of the Empire of Japan, along with the Supreme Commander of Allied Forces (Douglas MacArthur) and other Allied representatives. Among these Allied representatives included fatefully, the highest ranking Canadian officer in the vicinity, a Colonel Lawrence Moore Cosgrave.
I was aimlessly wandering the WWII exhibit when I came across this rather largish contract with the words “INSTRUMENT OF SURRENDER” written in large friendly letters near the top. Near the end were a series of signature lines underwritten by the powers that be at this time: “The Supreme Commander of Allied Forces” signed dutifully by the General, “United States Representative” and “The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics Representative” signed by some high ranking Yank and Red, the lines continued with “The Republic of China”, “The United Kingdom” and “The Dominion of Australia”. Then came the line for “The Dominion of Canada” (we were still a dominion at that time, not yet freed by Trudeau). This line was empty. “That’s odd,” I thought and kept reading.
It appeared that the good Colonel Cosgreve, likely a trifle nervous in the company of great men, had signed BELOW his appointed line, instead of above it. The representative of the provisional government of France followed suit, signing under the line, as did the representative from the Netherlands. But now the lines were all used up, and the “Dominion of New Zealand Representative” had no line to sign on. So he just signed in the blank space at the bottom of the page, and got the hell out of there.
After all the ceremonies (and I imagine there were a lot) the Japanese representative was handed his copy to return to the (now quite powerless) Emperor of Japan. He glanced at it, and noted the oddities in signatures on the bottom. He was quite miffed by this. It would be no good at all if the surrender document was rendered void by some mishap such as this. So he tried to bring up the matter with General MacArthur. Apparently MacArthur agreed that something must be done.
So he did what anyone does when they foul up filling out a form. He added a whole bunch of corrections and initialed them. He roughly stroked out “Provisional Government of France”, replacing it with “Dominion of Canada”, “Netherlands” with “France, etc, etc, down the line. Then drew a line under the representative from New Zealand’s signature and wrote his country below it. Then went down the side of the page, filling it with little “D.M.” initials to show to all concerned that the Terms of Surrender Document which ended the Second World War, was indeed completely legit.
This amusing little play zoomed through my head when I looked at the screwed up terms of surrender document. Turns out its completely historically correct. It should be noted though, that when it came time for Col. Congreve to sign the American copy of the surrender document, the one that you find on Google and in most history books, he signed on the right line.
Sumo Wrestling in Tokyo. Or, omg its so great to hang out with people who speak English.
Naturally I was invited and enthusiastically agreed to join them. The furthest away from home I?ve gone is Yokohama city on a quest to find cheesecake, so I hadn?t had the pleasure of encountering Tokyo yet. The NTT people were all coming together, and planned to meet me at the subway station closest to the Ryogoku Sumo stadium.
I braved the Tokyo public transit system for the first time, and I know I?m going to say this about a billion more times, but it?s fantastic. I gave myself like a half hour of buffer time just in case I encountered unforeseen delays or got lost, but somehow I ended up at my destination earlier than Google thought possible, and I even got lost once. Luckily my Japanese is adequate for asking passers-by which direction the train is going.. One noticeable failing of the Tokyo transit system is that though the station names are usually in Romaji or Hiragana, the directions are often in Kanji only. I?ve upped my Kanji-vocabulary quite a bit already, so I don?t foresee it being a problem for long.
So after some brief and delightfully not-Japanese introductions, we headed to an awesome Japanese fast food joint where you order from a vending machine. Then to the Tokyo-Edo museum, which quite boringly tells the story of Edo/Tokyo from its modest beginnings as a fishing village to the American firebombings in WW2. I was recommended by no less than 4 people to go to this museum, but take my word on it? Go up the awesome epic stairs; look at the building infront/above you. Maybe go up the sweet escalator-without-steps a few times. Then leave. You?re done, free of charge.
Now to the meat of the matter: Sumo. Its pretty expensive guys, we were in the second worst seats in the house, and it was still almost 50 bucks each for tickets. But it only happens a couple times a year, so if you?re in the neighborhood, go for it by all available means. For those who know me, you know I don?t enjoy watching sports. Its boring, largely uneventful and the seating is usually cramped.
Here comes the expected twist! Sumo is fantastic. At less competitive levels (those who go near the beginning of the day), its perhaps 50-60% ceremony. At the title rounds at the end of the day, its pushing 95% ceremony. These ceremonies involve these massive guys hulking all over the clay-ring, lifting their legs, throwing salt all over the place in an aggressive fashion, slapping their bodies repeatedly and very unappealingly, beating their chests to rile up the audience, washing their bodies/armpits with a towel, FOLLOWED by aggressively washing their faces with said towel. These events culminate in the two contestants lined up, ready to go. But usually right when the tension is high, thinking they?re about to start, one guy stands up, walks away, and slaps himself nice and hard on the gut. The cycle then repeats.
Each cycle takes maybe 2 or 3 minutes, and can repeat up to 5 or 6 times before a big title fight. The crowd is insane during the ceremony, they can?t get enough of it.
The fight lasts maybe 2-30 seconds, and pretty much just involves one guy pushing the other outside of the ring or onto the floor. Sometimes it gets intense with slapping contests between the guys, or feints and rolls. Notably, its usually small and nimble wins the race. Unless you?re a buff-as-hell, 6 foot 5, 207kg Bulgarian monstrosity. Then you pick up the little fat-as-hell Sumo-wrestler looking Japanese man infront of you, and drop him outside the ring. ?GAIJIN SMASH?
Afterwards we went to get all you can eat Korean BBQ, after which my NTT buddies abandoned me in the middle of downtown Tokyo to find my way home. Thanks guys, that was a chore.
Another failed, but valiant attempt
In my continuing quest to get internet access in my dormitory room, I decided to buy a wireless router, install it in the french-guy-down-the-hall's room, and then gleefully share his internet. I figured we'd split the cost, and since internet here is Fibre, its fast as hell (100Mbit - maxes out normal ethernet), so no problems sharing.
The first tricky part was buying a wireless router. I feel like such an idiot buying a router, when we had like 5 spare routers at our old house on McDougall that are now just collecting dust somewhere. But anyway, I eventually found an electronics store in walking distance from my dormitory, and went over to grab a router.
I don't know about you, mysterious reader, but I considered Japan a land of high technology (until recently), so expected a myriad of super awesome routers for next to nothing. Turns out instead they have a bunch of brands I've never heard of (No Linksys or D-link or Netgear to be found), for exorbitant prices. I ended up getting the cheapest one from a brand I recognized (NEC), for about 60 bucks.
Setting up the router was an exercise in frustration. The whole web interface was in Japanese, and setting everything to automatic would have been hard enough. But turns out the modems the ISP here gives out are linked to the MAC address of only one computer. So I had to figure out MAC address masking on a bizarre Japanese router. Was a tough time.
Once I'd succeeded, there was a few moments of joy as my computer connected without a hitch.
Then I left the room.
This fucking router has a range of like 5 meters. My room is maybe 10 meters away, max. So now I sit outside Stefan's room, in the freezing cold corridor that the dormitory-gods don't find necessary to heat.
That is all.